LEARNING DAILY

 

Ephesians 5:22, Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

 

In the last page of the blog, I tried to give encouragement to husbands as to how “they are to love your wives”. A husband who fails to love his wife as Christ loves the Church makes it difficult for her to submit to him. I suggest it is important to get beyond the misconception that submitting means a subservient or inferior role for the wife. That is not what the above verse means. Read Ephesians 5:22-33 for the entire thought Paul is writing about. Submit actually means a voluntary act of obedience and respect.

 

Husbands, it is not up to you to demand your wife submits to you; it is not your responsibility! This verse is not a biblical command for the husband to be the head of the household. God is addressing the wife here and it is her responsibility to be obedient; the result of obedience is blessings within the family. Oh, how we struggle with the authority of God’s Word! Men need to stop using this verse to demand what they want it to say!

 

The Bible shows the voluntary obedience of Jesus the Son to His Father. He was equal in His Deity but submitted to the will of the Father, obedient to His death on a cross. These verses in Ephesians are God’s plan for marriage – husband and wife coequal before God but willing to follow His divine plan in marriage. Jesus Christ is in authority over the Church. He guides, protects, corrects, loves it. God has given authority to the husband to protect, nurture, and love his wife (and children). I might add that the husband will answer to God for what he does with this authority.

 

Submission is not just for the wife.  Ephesians 5:21 tells us “to submit to one another in the fear of God”. In too many marriages there is a power struggle between husband and wife because each one wants to have their own way. The struggle occurs because of the worldly principle of pleasing the “self” in each person’s life. Too often this struggle ends in divorce due to unwillingness to meet somewhere in the middle. Christian based marriages need to be different. There should be no competition between the husband and wife as each seek to build the other up in the Lord, trusting Him to provide for their needs and placing their lives under the leadership of the Holy Spirit. When both the husband and wife do, they begin to grow in humility, gentleness, patience, love, and the rest of the fruit of the Spirit. This takes the place of authoritarian, self-centered quarreling over leadership.

 

God’s plan is for the husband to love his wife, to never assert his authority to get his own way, to never force her to do anything against God’s will and never push her to do anything harmful to her. In decision-making, the husband should always ask for his wife’s input and insight in order for decisions to be made together. Prayer should always be involved. Husbands, any time you make a decision against your wife’s point of view, you best do so in fear and trembling before God; recognize is plan holds you accountable for your decision.

 

Living a biblical marriage is about giving up egos and self-centered motives. It is about living the way God desires us to live as husband and wife. It is living as God desires so others will see the godly marriage and want to have their marriage to be like that; it brings honor and glory to Him. It is one more way to submit to the Word of God and the Holy Spirit and walk together on the narrow way into eternity in God’s kingdom.